After President Donald Trump departed the White House for the final time this morning, the janitorial crew was surprised to find a random assortment of letters carved into the famed Resolute Desk in the Oval Office. Upon further examination, they realized that each combination of letters represented a stock ticker.
President Trump was clearly focused on stock market returns during his tenure, but no one realized he had taken that fixation so far. A White House spokesman said that the Resolute Desk will need to be restored or possibly replaced due to the damage from the carvings and Domino’s pizza grease stains. Some have argued that the desk should be memorialized in a museum due to the incredible four-year returns of the stocks carved into the desk.
Here are the four stock tickers that President Trump carved into the resolute desk:
GameStop appears to be one of the most recent additions to the desk. Trump was likely inspired by Wall Street Bets’ recent short squeeze; He reportedly asked a senior economic adviser last week if the same thing could be replicated for all stocks.
The in-home fitness company has been a darling of Wall Street over the last year. Evidently, the company also caught the eye of President Trump during its incredible run in 2020. Trump may still be interested in Peloton after leaving office, as reports have surfaced that President Joe Biden’s Peloton bike could be vulnerable to a hack.
President Trump is clearly a fan of McDonald’s. He served the Clemson University football team a fast food buffet during its White House visit, which included several McDonald’s items. The cleaning crew also found several buy-one-get-one Big Mac coupons in the desk with a December 1989 expiration date.
According to official cabinet meeting notes, Trump asked his EPA Chief several times about shorting Nikola Motors. According to an unnamed source, he wanted confirmation that Nikola “didn’t have any real products” and that “it was likely going to zero.”