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Advice: My Fiancee Wants to Make a Down Payment on a House, I’d Rather Get Five Taxidermized Bears to Guard Our Property

Dear Sean,

My fiancee and I are currently in the process of moving and we’ve run into a bit of a disagreement on where best to spend our savings.

Up until now, we have lived in a one-bedroom apartment together while working in our current city, but we will be moving soon for her work. We have both been saving where we can for the move, but I guess we have different priorities for those funds.

She feels like we need more space than our current apartment because she wants to eventually have children, and thus wants to make a downpayment on a house. But my main concern is the safety of these future children, which is why I feel we should buy five taxidermized bears which can guard our apartment from intruders in the night. Is there a healthy compromise?

Bear Lover


Dear Bear Lover,

Healthy discussions over funds are a necessary part of any relationship. Luckily for you, so are compromises! Both you and your fiancee have valid concerns for your future family, and you should take them both into account.

You should encourage your fiancee to consider alternative shelters which would provide more space at a lower cost, like a condominium or a really big tent. Meanwhile, you need to make some compromises on the security because five bears is a bit overkill. Think about investing in a cheaper, but just as intimidating taxidermized animal like a hawk to ward criminals away. I wouldn’t steal the pipes from a home with a guard hawk!