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Analyst Recommends Tesla Ditch Asset-Heavy Car Business to Daytrade Bitcoin

A prominent auto industry analyst is calling on Tesla to make one crucial change to its business model.

Andy Jorgenson has analyzed the auto industry for nearly 20 years, and rarely misses on his calls. This week, he is warning that Tesla needs to make a critical change if it wants to survive.

Instead of dealing with the asset-heavy, low margin business of making cars, Jorgenson says that Tesla needs to turn its full attention to daytrading Bitcoin.

“Tesla’s made about $1 billion in Bitcoin profits in just one month, according to analysts,” Jorgenson said.

“And that’s just as a side project. Imagine if Tesla turned its full attention to trading in Bitcoin. They’d make tens of billions in gross profit, which just isn’t possible now with their silly little car business.”

Tesla CEO Elon Musk is said to be taking the recommendation into consideration.

“I think it’s possible that we see Tesla shift into a Bitcoin hedge fund,” said one company insider who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

“Each Tesla car only produces a few thousand dollars in gross profit. Each Bitcoin, however, could make us hundreds of thousands of even millions in gross profit, without us having to open all these annoying factories.”

If Tesla does shift its business model, all unsold and unfinished Tesla vehicles will be burned in a chemical fire and dumped into an endangered whale habitat.