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Article Detailing Evils of Capitalism Behind Paywall

NEW YORK — A news article discussing the dismantling of all capitalist structures was posted recently but can only be viewed if the user subscribes to the news site in question to remove the ‘paywall’.

“We’ve based our business model on the idea that basing a business model on things like supply and demand or resources or wealth is pure evil and is destroying the fabric of our society,” began editor Mariella Park. “I agree so strongly with the sentiment that I exploited the article to garner countless clicks to the site, gain subscribers, and in turn charge more for ad space — Anti-capitalism is an extremely lucrative industry.”

Users who subscribed were reportedly mostly in agreement with the article’s message.

“News should be free, that’s why I paid the $9.99 fee to subscribe to the site,” stated new avid reader Marshal Lents. “This is important info that people should not be paying for, so it’s important that I pay for it.”

When reached for the comment, the author of the article responded, “I’m happy to answer any questions you have for me about dismantling the horrible awful disgusting systemic oppression known as capitalism and detailing exactly why I am vehemently against its implementation and existence… for a modest speaking fee, of course.”