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Beeple’s Disgruntled Ex Sells Old Dick Pics as NFTs for Millions

“Beeple” is a digital artist based out of South Carolina, who is famous for selling one of his digital works for a record $69,346,250.

Now Beeple’s past is coming back to bite him as his side-piece from college wants to get in on that irresistible 69.

Before he became an NFT multimillionaire, Beeple was simply Mike Winkelmann of Wisconsin. Although Winkelmann was a total computer dweep at his Alma Mater, Purdue University, rumor has it he was making a lot of peer-to-peer connections (if you catch my drift). Although Mike is now a family man with a wife and two kids, his promiscuous past is proving to be tough to shake.

Almost immediately after Beeple’s record breaking Christie’s auction, lewd photos of the prolific artist started popping up on the MakersPlace site; all uploaded by the still anonymous “Beeple Bitch”.

The flip phone mirror nudes have been minted on the Ethereum block chain and are being auctioned for increasing sums. The highest bid ($8,570,366 as of writing this)is currently on a full-body nude of Mr.Winkelmann with cat ear headphones and a full erection; the piece is named “‘RAWR’ Means I Love You in Dinosaur”.

I was able to catch up with the digital artist as he was heading into his satellite studio in New York. I asked Mr.Winkelmann if he would be pursuing legal action to stop the sale of these private photos. He responded, “Bitches gotta eat too” and proceeded to moonwalk into his studio and out of sight. A truly enigmatic visionary.