Benevolent SPAC King and Ruler of Lands from IPOA to IPOZ Chamath Palihapitiya showered his loyal, rag-wearing servants with fresh loaves of bread as he entered the CNBC offices today, reports confirmed.
The loaves, reportedly fresh baked by the wisest one himself in a show of love for his people, filled the bellies of the downtrodden but loyal shareholders of Spactopia.
“The great conqueror and benevolent ruler of all the SPAC alphabet loves his people and showers them with gifts on every occasion,” a royal servant said, reading from a scroll. “We trust in his wisdom, his power, and his divine right to create every SPAC he sees fit.”
There was some confusion in the crowd as filthy peasants fought to grab the loaves, while others believed such an act was unbecoming of a follower of Chamath, and that the bread was the body and blood of Chamath himself.
“You fools! You simple fools!” One man in the back of the crowd coughed, hiding a disgusting skin affliction from behind a torn up canvas sack hood. “You will all end up like me, one of those burned by IPOC. Look at me, look at my pain! Do not eat from those loaves!”
At press time, Chamath was scheduled to be on CNBC nonstop for the next 2-3 weeks.