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Bitcoin Dips To Let The Poors In

Bitcoin is intentionally tanking to generously allow more poors to get in before the cryptocurrency hits $100,000. Analysts are praising Bitcoin for this unprecedented gesture of kindness.

“This is why Bitcoin is widely considered the greatest currency in existence,” said Dr. Thomas Howard, a professor of economics at the University of Pennsylvania. “The US dollar and other pointless fiat currencies would never purposefully decline in value just to help out poor people.”

Experts are urging citizens to load up on Bitcoin before it inevitably hits $100,000 and solves all of the world’s economic problems.

“Bitcoin hitting $100,000 will represent a singularity, where all poverty and other money-related problems will disappear,” Dr. Howard said. “If you’re not on the Bitcoin train before then, you might as well be dead.”