The world’s largest crypto currency has rallied above 11,000USD in recent weeks and roommates everywhere cannot stop talking about it. Traders have experienced hundreds of dollars in day-trading gains during this uptrend, causing a rise in manic one-sided conversations with anyone who will listen. Times like these make for a very difficult living situation for anyone renting with a crypto trader. So we, at Hard Money, have put together a list of the 5 BEST ways to get your roommate to stop talking about Bitcoin’s latest surge.
1) Bring up astrological signs, how it’s really affecting you & likely the market too. Crypto traders are obsessed with the logical world of charts & statistics. They detest astrological conversations, it was cause to break up with their ex-girlfriend and it’s cause to end a conversation with you. A sentence like, “That’s great that crypto trading is going well for you right now, but because you’re a Gemini, you really need to ground yourself in the lows AND the highs” is sure to stop a crypto conversation in its tracks.
2) Reply with “Are you sure? Because I just read that it crashed 30% in an hour”. You only get to pull this ONCE, so pick your opportunity wisely. Because of the 24hr nature of cryptocurrency trading, you can use this line at any time & any place. The conversation will end quickly, and send your roommate into a temporary state of panic that only you will find funny.
3) Bring up podcast episodes about meditation & psychedelic retreats. Tim Ferris, Joe Rogan and many more podcasters boast about retreats for ‘optimal performance’. Some are silent meditation retreats, others are psychedelic journeys that require an expedition deep into the rainforest. Despite an aversion to astrology, traders are enthralled by the idea of a mystical experience providing an ‘edge’ to their performance. Your roommate may decide to go listen to the podcast. If you are really lucky, he will go on one of these retreats and you will have earned yourself a weekend (or more) free of crypto-conversations!
4) Ask if he saw the most recent Batman movie trailer. He will likely be pissed that “the tween icon from Twilight” has been cast as the new Batman and you will bend the conversation into a more palatable chat about superhero movies.
5) Mention that Pornhub is extending a new month of free membership because of the COVID pandemic. This should spark a quick desire to wrap up the conversation so that he can get back to his ‘research’.