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Bitcoin Upturn Spurs More Demand for Better Explanation of What it is

NEW YORK — The outlandish rise of the price of Bitcoin continues to baffle legacy investors on Wall Street and spurs a surge in demand for a better explanation of what it is.

“So it’s just PART of a coin? Where is the rest of it? I’d rather buy a fullcoin”, said hedge fund manager Ted Scaramuntis.

Scaramuntis isn’t alone in confusion. Many investors on Wall Street have been scrambling to comprehend the nature of a Bitcoin. Hard Money obtained the Google search history of employees at Goldman Sachs and found a number of high level partners had similar questions:

“How many Bitcoins can I fit in my Safe Deposit Box?”

“Where is the largest Bitcoin mine?”

“Ccann bitttcoien cueeerre parrkinsssonss disseeaaseffffffffffffff”

Financial analysts criticize the recent price move, saying that the growth is unsustainable, but Twitter user, MoeFoeBerner writes, “BITTTTTCOINNNNNNNN!” So who’s to say what the future will hold.

The one thing that hasn’t changed since 2017 is that still, nobody knows what a bitcoin is. They just know that they want one and that it’s probably going higher before crashing spectacularly.