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**CATHIE WOOD SECRETLY BUYS OIL STOCK TO GET THE RUSH OF A WINNING TRADE

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Multi-millionaire investor and innovator Cathie Wood snuck away from her post at the ARK Invest office early Thursday to purchase call options and common shares of oil companies, confirmed sources within the firm.

“I think she forgot what a winning trade felt like, so I don’t blame her for doing whatever it took to get that positive momentum back,” said one ARK analyst who wished to remain anonymous. “She seemed so happy seeing green on her trading screen for the first time in weeks, and possibly months. It was like the old Cathie was back.”

At press time, Wood was seen pulling up a stock screener to find coal stocks to invest in.