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Coinbase Adds NFT Functionality so Users Can Diversify How They Waste Money

WILMINGTON, Del. — Crypto investing platform Coinbase has begun branching out into the realm of trading NFT’s to allow users a wider range of options that are a waste of money.

“I think our users are very interested in buying and selling NFT’s, and we’re very interested in the commission from our users, so this is truly a win/win,” began CEO Brian Armstrong. “And if their investments in crypto are any indication, I would say it’s clear our users are always on the lookout for new ways to waste their money, so if you’re gonna waste your money, at least do it on our platform!”

Coinbase user Dan Carter said he was glad to have a place he could invest in NFT’s and crypto simultaneously, as he oftentimes looks to diversify his dwindling portfolio.

“Crypto can easily lose its value, so it’s risky, but the value of a JPG on my phone will forever remain constant,” Carter stated. “The value of that screenshot will definitely never go down, I mean, it can’t! Right?”

Upon hearing the news, CEO of Robinhood Vlad Tenev quickly scoured Reddit for the next innovation in burning money so he would be ahead of Coinbase this time.