I know I was a pretty big stoner back in 2011, but according to my back-of-the-envelope calculations, I may have been the biggest pot smoker of all time! If this crypto wallet transaction log I just stumbled upon is correct, I spent 6,428 BTC on dank from the dark web that year. But who’s counting, right? Right??
I know what you’re thinking: “holy crap, you must hate yourself right about now. You could have been filthy stinking rich!”
Well, coulda woulda shoulda, as they say. Besides, I’m pretty happy with the weed I got, and the thrills of being an early adopter of cryptocurrency will never wear off. I was there when it all began, buying mids for 60 BTC an eighth, and no one can take that away from me.
Sure, if I had possessed even a smidge of self control or an ounce of forethought, perhaps I could be living somewhere other than my parents’ basement right now. But 2011 was a different time, and bitcoin was never supposed to become more valuable than gold. It was created for playing internet poker and buying drugs shipped to you in lead-lined shoe boxes from Ukraine.
Do I have any regrets? Nope. Nada. I’m feeling cool as a cucumber and I’m definitely not googling what a $100 million house looks like. I’m also totally not firing up my dusty Tor-enabled Raspberry Pi in a desperate attempt to find crypto wallets I may have forgotten about. Nope, I’m absolutely not doing that at this very second. That wouldn’t be very chill at all.