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Crisis Actors Union Wins Pivotal Lawsuit Against Alex Jones

NEWTOWN, Conn.- In a long awaited decision in the case of Crisis Actors Union Local 69 v. Alex Jones, a judge has decided in favor of the performers. The case dates back to the horrible Sandy Hook school shooting in 2012 and the criticisms Jones, a supplement salesman and guy with access to a microphone, placed upon the actors, many who were related to the victims.

Alex Jones has long been a proponent of conspiracy theories including gay frogs, inter-dimensional space-vampires, and Jewish people running the New York City Marathon. Jones quickly jumped into the Sandy Hook conspiracy sphere, alleging that paid crisis actors had convened upon the school. The suit brought by the union charges back that the actors were not paid but there pro-bono to show support.

One crisis actor spoke anonymously, “We’re very happy with the outcome the judge decided. Alex Jones has been a thorn in the side of crisis actors everywhere. We were not paid by anyone to show up and this ruling proves it. There were plenty of good, paying protests we could have been at those days but this was about showing support for the victims. Plus, Soros had put a cap on overtime so it was whatever.”

A representative relayed that Jones was unavailable for comment as he was busy ripping his shirt off and yelling in the mirror at himself.