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**CRYPTO TRADER NOTICES STABLECOIN “USD” ON COINBASE IS HOLDING UP PRETTY WELL

SAN FRANCISCO — Cryptocurrency trader Zach Smith, 23, frantically checked Coinbase this afternoon to find a “safe haven” crypto that was holding its value during today’s crash.

“I looked and looked, but couldn’t find anything that was holding its value,” Smith said. “Not even the stable coins looked good.”

But after scrolling to the bottom of Coinbase’s listed coins, Smith noticed an obscure-sounding stablecoin called “The United States of America Dollar”, or USD for short.

“Surprisingly, this coin was holding up perfectly. I assumed it was a perfectly decentralized token, given its stability.”

Smith immediately transferred his Bitcoin into USD, avoiding huge losses ($120) over the next several hours.