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Daughter Tracks Father’s Stock Portfolio to Know When to Ask For Money

Gainesville, FL – Alexis Clark, a masters student at the University of Florida threw what sources have deemed as ‘The Party of the Decade’ last weekend. Along side an open bar and chocolate fountain, the party also included performance by local magician ‘The Amazing Crank’ and rapper Lil Pandy.

When pressed as to how she could afford such a party with no job and no source of income, Alexis indicated that her strategic tracking of her Father’s Portfolio, which includes Skechers, Amazon and specifically Zoom allowed her to pick the perfect moment to ask for some money. “These stocks have been absolutely on fire this year. It’s funny I didn’t really know anything about the stock market until one day I had the idea to ask for $100 after I saw a video on Tik Tok about how well Zoom was doing and remembering my dad had some. That was a game changer for me. He just venmo’d me no questions asked.”

Mike Benetti, an attendee of the party and friend of Alexis’ was blown away by the spread and open bar. “I remember her 18th birthday party when her dad had a huge position in Research in Motion. It has been bleeding out for months and we all had to eat dollar store hot dogs. It’s nice that he’s managed to turn things around.”

Experts think it won’t be long until we see Alexis claiming to be a ‘Stock Guru’, appearing all over YouTube ads and TikTok herself while charging thousands of dollars for her online courses so she can throw even bigger parties without bugging her dad.