Press "Enter" to skip to content

Day Trader Discovers Insanely Profitable New Function on Robinhood Called ‘Withdraw Funds’

NEW YORK — Day trader Mark Bradmon has announced finding an incredible Robinhood hack to make money, an option within the app labeled as withdraw funds, sources confirm.

“It’s wild, did you know if you tap this button, it will put money into your bank account?” Bradmon began explaining. “IN your bank account, as in, your bank balance increases! It is actually possible to MAKE money?! It has to be a trick though, right? Can’t be real! No way! Too good to be true!”

He continued, clarifying he wasn’t actually increasing his net value, more mitigating the effects of day trading.

“I mean, obviously I still lost most of my investment on meme stocks, sure, but still, what was left, instead of dumping more of it into stocks that go down, you have the option of sending it back to your bank, where it came from. I took out $5,000 last week, and today I DEPOSITED $47.89. So, all things said and done, I did NOT lose $5,000 thank you very much!”

A coder at Robinhood, Sarah Kannity, has stated the ‘withdraw’ function is relatively new, as they hadn’t had much demand for it in their entire history.

“The whole time the app has been around, no one has ever asked for a way to send money back to the bank,” she commented. “We didn’t even realize we’d forgotten to code it in initially until now! I looked at the statistics, and since implementing the function, we’ve seen it tapped a total of 5 times amongst our millions of users… 3 of those transactions were quickly cancelled as mistakes, and then one instance of it was when I tested the function this morning.”

Though this powerful new function has potential to completely change the day trading game, most analysts predict it will not even rollover to the next update of the app, as day traders will obviously never actually use it.