Press "Enter" to skip to content

‘Day Trading for Dummies’ Book Only One Page That Reads ‘Don’t’

SAN DIEGO — Popular series of instructional books …For Dummies has released the day trading edition, though it is being considered more of a pamphlet as it contains only one word in the entire publication: Don’t.

“Day trading is simple: don’t do it,” commented representative from Wiley Publishing Dana Carter. “99% of day traders lose money, so our official recommendation in the For Dummies series is to just not do it. So far we’ve saved thousands of readers billions of dollars. It might be our most successful book ever!”

Day trader Martin Karr, after losing thousands of dollars of his father’s money, decided to grab the book looking for new approaches.

“I saw how much people could make in day trading but I was always losing money,” he began. “Once I implemented the strategy in the book, I stopped losing money. In fact, I held a few positions I had and actually gained money for the first time ever in my day trading career. I don’t know how they come up with this stuff, but they always distill the most complicated information down to its simplest form!”

To accompany the book, there is also a seminar series being delivered by successful day trader, Samantha Farryn.

“I won a world record for shortest TEDTalk of all time,” she started. “It’s titled ‘Seminar on How to Day Trade For Dummies’ and it’s also literally one word — I walk out, say ‘don’t’ then walk off stage.”

At press time, For Dummies announced a follow-up release on how to day trade options instead of stocks which adding a whole extra word to the concise message, reading: Also don’t.