BOSTON — Market analysts cited massive losses and poor performance as key reasons to upgrade Draftkings stock to one of the most embarrassing securities to hold due, confirmed multiple sources currently planning on attending UFC events.
“If you have calls on Draftkings at this point you may as well just close your account already and go off-grid,” analyst Marshal Jennings stated. “If it were me, I’d even be ashamed the E*TRADE guy knows about it. I’d probably pay to get rid of those calls because you know everyone is laughing at you behind your back. It’s not too late to change your name and get some reconstructive facial surgery to change your appearance.”
Though $DKNG was upgraded to most embarrassing call to own, several day traders have confirmed they are constantly finding new, even more, embarrassing moves to make in the market.