Sacramento, CA — It’s being reported that local creep and amateur day-trader Warren Maxman is putting his money where his mouth is by shorting SNAP, parent company of the hit app Snapchat due to what he refers to as ‘mistreatment’ by the company.
The reason he is shorting is neither fundamental nor technical but rather good old fashioned revenge. You see Maxman’s account was unfairly (by his account) terminated for sending unsolicited dick pics to women he was stalking online.
“The whole point of Snapchat is to send dick pics. Ask any person that has an account. Jokes on them though because I just bought a ton of puts and shorted even more shares,” said an indignant Maxman.
We reached out to Jess Callway, a representative for Snapchat who explained further. “While Snapchat is known by some as a place to send dick pics that notion is pretty outdated at this point. We are so much more than that,” said Callway before conceding that it’s still a part of the app.
“We’re fine with you sending a couple here and there but Mr. Maxman sent over 1200 unsolicited dick pics and was flagged so many times that we had no choice but to terminate his account.”
When asked why he thought his short position would benefit from this revenge trade Maxman answered with unwavering certainty. “I’m not the only person they’re doing this too which means they’ll be losing a crazy amount of users and it’s a no-brainer short.”
He then indicated he would use his windfall to order ‘a bunch of prostitutes probably.’