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**ELON MUSK DISCLOSES HE’S A REGISTERED SEC OFFENDER

AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk stunned supporters and regulators when was required to knock on the doors of every blue-chip company in the nation and disclose he is a registered SEC offender, confirmed multiple sources who are actively trying to avoid the richest man in the world.

“Yeah, it’s actually something I’m quite proud of if I’m being honest,” said Musk during a brief Twitter break. “It’s no big deal being on the SEC offender registry, I actually know most of the other guys on the list and we hang out every now and again. It’s not like they can actually stop me from doing whatever want. There is just a dumb red dot on an app letting people know I’m pissing off the government.”

At press time, Musk was charged with illicit tweets, and breaking a consent decree with the commission, both crimes typical of a SEC offender.