Texans have grown used to seeing and hearing about Elon Musk. Ever since he moved to their state to be closer to the SpaceX headquarters, the billionaire CEO has kept a relatively low profile, choosing to live in a tiny house over a mansion, and spending most of his time looking after his businesses. However, customers at a Brownsville Starbucks witnessed a shocking instance of animal cruelty this Monday, when Elon Musk left Dogecoin in a hot car.
“In our climate, Dogecoin won’t last thirty minutes in an enclosed vehicle,” said a shocked Sharron Bisky. “At first we thought he would realize his mistake and rush back out, but he got coffee, chatted with baristas, then went next door to look at some hats! This is a man who is so public about his love of Dogecoin, but his actions show his true feelings. If it’s inconvenient to him, the Doge will end up discarded.”
A group of concerned onlookers eventually tried to break a window to rescue the animal, but the Tesla glass was too strong. “We had to stand there and watch the Dogecoin gasp for breath, knowing that only Elon could save it,” Bisky continued. “Eventually he came out of the store, and gave it a little water. Honestly, if he’d left it any longer, it might not have made it. We were relieved to see his Doge live to see another day, but who knows how long it will be safe this time.”
Hard Money contacted Miles Jenkins, the owner of popular Texan pet shop franchise CryptoCrate. “Sadly, this is something you see happening more and more,” he explained. “People get excited about buying Dogecoin in the beginning. They tweet about it, make cute memes about it, and worst of all, encourage a bunch of other people to buy Doge, but then they lose interest and move on to other things. Elon Musk clearly just sees his pet as a temporary amusement, not a part of his future.”
Elon Musk didn’t respond to Hard Money’s emails about his long term pet ownership plans, but anyone hoping he would stop putting animals at risk was let down when he tweeted about Baby Doge. “Classic, reckless behavior,” Jenkins commented. “Once the owner is bored with their animal, they get another puppy to replace it.”