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Email From Financial Advisor Probably Should’ve Been Meeting

NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Universal idiom ‘this meeting could’ve been an email’ found itself reversed recently when financial advisor Ben Fletcher sent an email regarding investment strategy that most certainly should have been a meeting and instead ended in bankruptcy, sources confirm.

“I was trying to tell my client how to diversify his portfolio but ended with a quip that I guess didn’t translate to email,” Fletcher began. “Long story short, he lost his retirement fund in GME.”

The client in question, Peter Frake, expressed concern over the confusing advice, but opted in favor of following the professional recommendation.

“He said to buy GME at $430, but in retrospect I think it was sarcasm,” Frake lamented. “The email mentioned diversifying across a few pharma and energy companies, and at the end it mentioned ignoring all that and dumping it into the game store company, so yeah in retrospect, maybe it would’ve been better to have had a meeting and avoid this confusion.”

Fletcher also recommended a particular SPAC that he confirmed would be profitable with the CEO who divulged privileged information.

“I forgot to write it into the email not to tell anyone about the inside info, then had already hit send and didn’t care enough to send a second email,” he added. “Also now there’s a paper trail of the insider trading, so, yeah, definitely should’ve just had the meeting.”

At press time Frake entered a guilty plea for fraud, stating, “I lost my retirement fund, so it would be nice to have room and board paid for by the government.”