Facebook officials are scrambling today after seeing recent inflation updates. The company is worried that the rising consumer price index means that consumers will be more expensive to buy.
“This is quite alarming for a company that specializes in buying its users,” said CEO Mark Zuckerberg in an interview this morning. “In the worst case scenario, it could mean that our consumers are starting to actually value their data and privacy.”
Facebook buys the photos, thoughts, and lives of its 3 billion users, and resells it to vendors across the world. Now, as price increases plague the global economy, the biggest victim may be the profit margins on this data trafficking empire.
“We are hoping things will stabilize, trends will return to normal, and our site will continue to devalue the self-worth of our users,” continued Zuckerberg. “In the past, we’ve seen the like system degrade users into giving us all of their information for free.”
At press time, Zuckerberg was preparing for inflation by converting his net worth into 126 1 billion-dollar bills.