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Financial Planner Recommends Retiree Allocate At Least 20% of Net Worth to Meme Stonks

With interest rates near all time lows for several years now, retirees have had an increasingly difficult time guaranteeing income from their investments while limiting risk. In the past government bonds could provide this but with rates near zero financial planners are getting crafty with portfolio allocation in order to maximize gains.

Tom Stuart is one of these financial planners pioneering a strategy where older investors place 20% of their savings in ‘meme stonks’ as he comically likes to say.

“Stonks are what the kids on the internet call stocks these days,” says Stuart from his Tempe, AZ office. “From Gamestock to AMC or Palantir some of these companies have gone on absolutely insane runs. I would get calls everyday from clients asking if they had any exposure to them. And they didn’t. Until now.”

Stuart then goes on to explain a detailed asset allocation model comprised of real estate, fixed income, blue chip equities and most importantly meme stocks.

“Capital preservation is the most important thing when prospective investors are looking to enlist my services. While I can’t guarantee that anymore with this new allocation what I can guarantee is it will be a hell of a ride. And also when you’re perusing the internet or on Wallstreetbets you can post neat stuff like diamond hands and all the other things the kids are doing.”

When pressed as to why anyone would want this Stuart ponders before finally answering. “You want to go to a baseball game and watch or do you want to play?”

We weren’t sure what this meant either but we were tired and he was getting less coherent the longer the interview went.