MONROE, Conn. — Economically conscious day trader Donna Pritchet has begun folding market volatility into her monthly accounting process, sources confirm.
“It’s important to be organized, that’s why I have everything on this spreadsheet: $250 for groceries, $50 for gas, $90 for entertainment type bills, and then at the bottom this red -$46,000 for day trading,” Pritchett stated. “I’m meticulous about every penny I spend and need to be accounting for huge daily losses from shorting stocks based on hunches or what the internet says — This is the most responsible way to invest!”
Pritchet’s accountant has expressed mixed feelings upon learning of the organizational method.
“It’s wonderful that she keeps track of everything, but it would be even more wonderful if she would just stop day trading,” the accountant, Debby Park said. “If she put this energy towards researching stocks she might be able to make money instead. I don’t think she understands what ‘responsible investing’ means.”
A student in Pritchet’s economics class at Yale also commented, saying the strategies learned were extremely useful.
“I’m so glad we have a professor that is so fiscally conservative and teaching us these great life lessons,” added Lane Stanton, a student in the class Pritchet teaches. “Schools never teach about personal budget, so it’s really great to finally have a professor showing us how it’s done… I only wish I had as much starting capital as her that I could lose as efficiently.”
Pritchet later revealed she’d also begun factoring a -$500 expense into her monthly budget: money exchanged for fake internet crypto money tokens.