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Forget Spending Thousands to Mine Crypto — This Man Mines USD With an $80 Xerox Printer!

The increasing popularity of crypto-mining has introduced to investors a very far-out proposition — directly creating currency. The prospect of establishing one’s own personal mint is tantalizing, but the practice has drawbacks. Electricity costs eat into profits, prompting crypto-miners to steal power to fuel mining operations. The rising electrical cost of crypto-mining also poses environmental concerns. For now, the road ahead for literal money printing is unusually rocky — but one man has a revolutionary plan to change that.

Giancarlo Lucic-McNamara is a man with all the makings of a 21st century thought-leader: He is tall and his nationality is impossible to determine. I first discovered Giancarlo when he stole my identity in 2019. After 2 years in court, we sat down for an interview in which he convinced me of his visionary financial mind.

CR: So you think currency mining is the future, but not for cryptocurrency?

GLM: That’s right. You see, I always look for ways to marry the new, and the old. You see, I take the idea of currency mining; new; and apply it to US Dollars; old. Instead of a huge server farm that takes up an entire warehouse, you just need a single $80 Xerox printer! Instead of creating volatile cryptocurrency that could lose its value by the time you go to spend it, you create cold, hard, American money-cash, baby!

CR: Wow, American money-cash! This sounds like a total game changer. So Giancarlo…

GLM: It’s Gianmarco.

CR: (pause) …No it isn’t. Your name is GianCarlo, I saw it on the affidavit…

GLM: Gian. Marco.

CR: Okay… Anyways, Gianmarco, I think I’ve heard all I need to hear. Clearly you are setting the stage for a better financial future, with no foreseeable risks to speak of. Thank you for coming in! Would you mind helping me look for my wallet? I seem to have lost it…

At this point, Gianmarco briskly left the interview (what a busybody!), but dropped his passport on the way out. The name on the passport read JeanMarcus Leahy-McNair, but who can expect such a dynamic man to have only one name? Whoever he is, he will surely be remembered for his monumental contribution to modern finance.