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Fractional Trading Card Owner Still Seeing Whole Losses

MAHWAH, N.J. — Investor David Hart, using Dibb’s new trading platform, was able to buy and sell fractions of various sports cards and still lose full amounts of money.

“I sold $1,000 worth of shares of a PSA10 Kevin Durant rookie when the card value went up 2%. After trading fees I was only down 90%,” said Hart. “It’s just like the actual stock market but somehow more embarrassing!”

Like a lot of new sports card investors, Mr. Hart’s sudden and passionate interest has confused and irritated those closest to him. “He’s always casually liked sports, but now he spends 8 hours a day watching NBA League Pass and it’s all he ever talks about,” said his wife Mary. “Every transaction he’s made so far has left us in the red. It makes you wonder, is he actually investing or just playing Atari’s Pitfall with our 401k?”

But what exactly is it about fractional ownership that is so appealing to this new wave of irresponsible investors?

“Our user base likes sports and wants cards, but the majority have very little capital. Enter our innovative platform where we’re able to facilitate them buying fractions of cards and losing their money that way,” said CEO of Dibbs Evan Vanderburg. “It lets you feel like a kid again… getting to re-experience the sensation of begging your parents for sports card money.”

Hart recently said he was no longer buying into overvalued investments that will likely lose money and is instead putting his life savings into Dogecoin.