WINSLOW, Ariz. — After reaching the milestone of 10,000 hours experience in day trading, Mark Behring confirmed he has mastered the art of losing money.
“I’ve been day trading for about 3 and a half years, so I have extensive experience just burning through capital,” Behring stated while ‘spicing things up’ as he calls it by buying an overpriced option. “After the first two years, I felt pretty confident in my abilities, but that 10,000 hours rule is spot on. My efficiency is so heightened, I’m like a well-oiled machine now… but, like, a well-oiled machine that loses money. A cash incinerator if you will.”
E*TRADE employee assigned to monitor Behring’s account, Geri Mallen, verified the findings, having witnessed first hand the account losing funds.
“When he started, he was trading safer stocks, Apple, Google, ya know, normal, logical trades, and just wasn’t good at it, but now, he’s really stepped up his game,” Mallen confirmed. “Just the other day he bought Hertz? They’re already bankrupt! That’s a next-level day trading fail. This dude is definitely a seasoned pro at losing money.”
Malcolm Gladwell chimed in, citing this as further proof of his theory.
“10,000 hours of practice, you can master anything, it just takes practice and determination,” he added. “You can even master the art of losing money.”
At press time, Behring confirmed he had also mastered the art of asking his dad for more money after zero-ing out is account, a common companion skill to day trading.