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Guy Who Didn’t Get $1,400 Check Will Have to Make Due with $12,000,000 PPP Loan for Fake Business

Dallas area businessman Thomas Wolfe is reportedly worried about making ends meet after President Joe Biden urged Congress to lower the income limit for relief payment eligibility.

Wolfe, who makes about $83,000 a year running his contracting business, will just barely miss out on being eligible for the upcoming $1,400 relief payments. The maximum income to receive a relief payment is $75,000.

“I’m not totally sure what we’re going to do,” said Wolfe, who has three young children. “We know we’ll get a $12 million forgivable loan from the CARES Act after I added a few dozen fictional people to my payroll, but missing out on the $1,400 will put a strain on my family.”

Wolfe answered our questions just before meeting with his realtor to tour a $6 million mansion in the affluent Highland Park area of Dallas. Later in the day, he was scheduled to meet a yacht broker at the Dallas Corinthian Yacht Club on Lewisville Lake.

“We just worry that average, everyday Americans like us aren’t getting the help we need from Congress,” Wolfe told us.
Although Wolfe’s children are all under the age of ten, each of them are listed as full-time employees on his company’s payroll as “skilled laborers” that clock in 60 to 70 hours of work per week.

“Look at my kids, they obviously work very, very hard,” Wolfe said, referencing the paperwork that listed his children as employees. “I just hope my business can keep them on the payroll. I told the government they each make $25,000 per week, so I am hoping our PPP loan can cover that vital business expense.”