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Here’s How Much You Would Have Made If You Invested In Bitcoin Instead Of Feeding Yourself

With Bitcoin soaring to new all-time highs this week, it’s time to reflect on just how stupid you are for not skipping meals in 2011 to buy Bitcoin.

What if you hadn’t spent $11.57 at Taco Bell on Saturday, May 7th, 2011 at 2am while you were totally hammered? You could’ve bought 3.56 Bitcoin, which would be worth $84,026.68 today. Was the Taco Party Box really worth it? You threw it up the next morning anyway. Idiot.

Instead of spending $69.11 at Kroger on April 5th, 2012 to buy the mega pack of Ramen, toilet paper, condoms, and nine frozen pizzas, you could have bought .68 Bitcoin and cashed in $16,050.04 today. Feel bad about yourself yet? You definitely should that’s a missed opportunity of a life time.

You’re a horrible investor and you should just put all your money in an index fund and call it a day.

According to studies, the average American household spends about $550 per month on groceries. What if you had put that money into Bitcoin instead? Even Litecoin would have been better. Bet you feel dumb.

Well give your sorry self the benefit of the doubt and say you didn’t hear about Bitcoin until 2015. Given that, if you had invested all your grocery money into Bitcoin each month (starting from January 2015) instead of buying Oreos and Mountain Dew, your $39,600 spent on groceries would now be worth $1,004,930.38.

Instead, you have $217 in a shitty altcoin and high blood pressure from all the fatty foods you gorged yourself with over the years. Let this be a lesson to your future self to stop eating and start speculating.