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Hip Grandma Says Don’t Spend All Your Birthday Money On One NFT

BLOOMINGDALE, N.J. — Self-proclaimed “cool” grandmother Beth Peterson gifted her grandson a twenty-dollar birthday check and coyly told him not to spend it all on a single NFT.

“I’d say I’m a pretty cool grandma. I saw Ellen talk about NFTs once, and now I think it’s just neato burrito. I don’t totally get what they are or know what they cost, but I figure twenty bucks should be more than enough for a couple of really nifty ones.”

“I love my grandma, she’s a very sweet old lady, but she knows jack shit about crypto or inflation for that matter,” said her grandson William, a sophomore finance major and active r/WallStreetBets contributor. “I appreciate the dough, but at that rate, I’m gonna need about 862 more birthdays before I can even touch the low-end Logan Paul stuff.”

However, not everyone in the Peterson family shares the same enthusiasm for non-fungible tokens.

“It’s all so fucking stupid. I don’t mind the missus talking about it, she doesn’t know what she’s saying, but that kid’s a grade-A douche” said Beth’s husband, Joseph Peterson. “He’s an awful investor too. Each check we give him is money flushed down the toilet. I know he’s my grandson and I should love him, but every conversation is Gary Vee this, stonks that. Makes a man wonder if storming that beach in Normandy was worth it.”

Beth Peterson hears the naysayers but remains a big believer in digital assets. She said she plans on getting all her grandkids’ NFTs this Christmas if she figures out how to turn her computer on.