El Salvador’s congress approved legislation that allows Bitcoin to be used as legal tender, becoming the first country to do so. President Nayib Bukele promised that the new currency will create more jobs and provide financial inclusion to those in need.
Bitcoin fans rejoiced at the decision, claiming the move gave the currency more legitimacy and momentum. The crypto news would have been enough history making for the week, but hours later, history was made again when Somalia voted unanimously to make Cumrocket legal tender.
Acting president for the republic, his excellency Mohamed Abdullahi Mohamed, declared that the deflationary DeFi token disrupting the adult industry would help bring a sense of stability to the country. “$CUMMIES will now be held in the same esteem as the Somali shilling, and can be used to buy all your favorite Somali goods like frankincense, cardamom, and halal meats,” he told reporters (some of which had been freed from jail for the occasion.)
The creator of Cumrocket, a young beautiful software engineer named Lydia, rejoiced at the news. “Since announcing Cumrocket on TikTok, the currency has really taken off,” she told Hard Money. “We’ve locked liquidity for one year and have released ‘CumSwap’, a DEX to exchange $CUMMIES. We have so many adult creators making exclusive content for Cumrocket too, but unfortunately our attempt to get more Somalians to join was blocked by the government. They don’t really go for that kind of thing there.”
When asked if she would be visiting Somalia, Lydia explained that she wanted to but for safety reasons instead had chosen to make a TikTok thanking them.”
“We’ve created a Somali Cumrocket NFT to mark this occasion,” a jubilant Mohamed finished by saying. A group of protestors outside the building began complaining that the Cumrocket vote was used to take attention away from human rights violations, but they were quickly shut down by armed forces. Their gunshots mixed with a celebratory pink fireworks display over the water.