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Idiot Paper Hand Trader Takes Profit to Pay Off Mortgage Instead of Apeing with Fellow Redditors

Electrical engineer and amateur day trader Ian Clark is the new laughing stock of the online trading community after “paper handing” his shares to pay off his mortgage instead of holding past the point of reason to appease random people online.

Clark, who invested about $8,000 into AMC call options last week, found himself sitting on a massive gain of $215,000 after just four days.

“I did what I thought was the smart thing,” said Clark. “I cashed out and paid off the mortgage to my house.”

Little did Clark know that this bone-headed play would be the worst mistake he ever made. Instead of pretending to be an ape with a bunch of strangers on the internet, he foolishly decided to “take care of his family” and “secure his financial future.”

According to sources, Clark is likely “feeling horrible” that he is no longer apart of the community and “wishes” that he still had his position, which would be worth about $160,000 after the AMC slide today.