An exposee into the harsh working conditions of the finance profession revealed that some day traders were forced to work 96 hour weeks only to earn hundred-thousand-dollar losses.
“I’ve been forced to work 8AM to 2AM some days, and I’m self-employed,” said basement trader Gary McTryver. “And despite all those hours of buying meme stocks, I’m literally being paid a negative salary. And instead of a bonus, I got an alert email from E-Trade.”
The revelation has led many to believe that day-traders are treated inhumanely by their bosses, which is especially shocking because day-traders are their own boss. Critics have wondered whether being so overworked is even worth the six-figure losses.
“I tried to make a complaint to HR, but it turns out I was setting my own hours,” continued McTryver sporting two dark circles under his eyes. “I didn’t know who could possibly treat another person so horribly. Turns out it was me.”
At press time, Wall Street traders were earning $100,000 bonuses just for starting a financial crisis.