Seattle, WA – “Well no it’s not technically a Swiss movement but it should keep time for the next 9,999 years or so. I just wound the dang thing,” says former world’s richest man Jeff Bezos while haggling with an older man not too keen on buying a very used giant clock built into the side of a mountain.
“If you can’t move on price I don’t think I can swing it. There’s no guarantee it’ll hold its value and I’ve been eyeing a Rolex complete with box and papers down at the pawn shop,” says the agitated man as he begins to walk away.
You can see the panic on Bezos’ face. That felt like a sale. The world’s former richest man has loaded up an entire airplane hangar here for what amounts to the world’s largest garage sale. “No this doesn’t have anything to do with Elon overtaking me as the world’s richest man. Which I mean does it really count? Divorce should be an asterisk. I still out earned him. Anyway, I’ve just been meaning to clear out some of the clutter from this and that. What am I supposed to do just throw this stuff out I got a hard maybe on 7 palettes of Kindle fire phones for the Haitian military.”
Bezos then rushes back to a table of mint condition copies of his memoir ‘In His Own Words’. “Sir I can sign as many of those as you’d like. They’re selling pretty well on Ebay,” says an eager Bezos.
As I start to leave I trip over what appears to be an old piece of NASA debris Jeff must have found on one of his submarine voyages. Originally $3.00 marked down to 85 cents which he insists is a steal. While his famous submarine isn’t up for sale I did notice the famous hand written banner from Amazon’s early days on a table for $7.00. $10 if you wanted it signed.
As of this writing Elon Musk is still the world’s richest man. When reached for comment Mr Musk said, “He’s doing what? I thought the president of Haiti was pulling my leg. Who the hell would want one Kindle phone let alone that many?”