Thousands of C-List celebrities have descended upon Miami, Florida this weekend to attend the much anticipated Bitcoin conference. While “crypto” celebrities such as Anthony Pompliano, The Winklevoss twins, and Michael Saylor will be in town to pump their stores of value, the main attraction is the star-studded line up of speakers.
Belfort, Ja Rule, McFarland, and Milton, the Four Horsemen of Fraud, will be hosting seminars on business practices for aspiring con artists. “Crypto is the greatest opportunity that I’ve ever seen,” remarked Trevor Milton. “When I got started, we had to at least pretend we had a viable business model. Now you just tell people their money is fake but your computer money is real and BAM! You make millions!”
Jordan Belfort is ecstatic to work with this group of entrepreneurs. “My work history was so well documented that Leo played me in a movie, and Ja Rule and Billy got four documentaries for Fyre Festival. But Trevor Milton is the real superstar here. He drew a picture of a pickup truck in Microsoft Paint and pushed a semi down a hill to make billions, and he never faced a second of prison time. What a legend. I’m here to impart wisdom on a new generation of crypto scammers, but I’m also here to learn from Trevor, one of the best hustlers of this decade.”
Ja Rule and Billy plan to unveil a new crypto currency called “Fyre Coin” to investors Saturday. “We think the crowd will love Fyre Coin, because it has a cooler name than most other cryptos. Ja is hosting a concert on South Beach Saturday night, but attendees have to pay in Fyre Coin. It will be a hit,” stated McFarland.
Rumor has it that Elon Musk has several tweets saved in his drafts to ruin to the weekend. This page will be updated as the story develops.