LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Lakers announced today that four-time league MVP and NBA Top Shot sensation Lebron James has signed on to a $50 million 10-second contract extension that the franchise hopes will cement their chances of producing at least three short highlight videos potentially worth billions as NFT collectibles.
“It was a difficult decision, but I’m excited to call L.A. home for a few more dunks,” James said of the record-setting deal. “You should’ve seen some of the other offers — the Mavericks were willing to pay $30 million for a clip of me sinking two free-throws while eating a vegan hot dog from some pea protein startup Mark Cuban invested in on ‘Shark Tank’, or some such nonsense.”
“I definitely feel my age any time I’m playing man-to-man with a twenty year-old like Zion or LaMelo and they start talking about this Top Shot stuff.”
The Lakers made the announcement during a virtual press event this afternoon. “We couldn’t be more thrilled. Everything King James touches turns to gold, or at least the crypto-digital asset equivalent,” said Lakers general manager Rob Pelinka.
“LeBron is the greatest of all time, and we’re giving the fans an opportunity to be part of his amazing legacy by spending their life savings to have their Top Shot username associated with a blockchain transaction that corresponds to 1 of 5,000 serial numbers representing the same 3-second online video clip of LeBron adding 2 points to his career total of over 35,000 and counting.”
As of press time, NBA Top Shot confirmed they will be releasing highlights from the Lakers’ Zoom conference in their next pack drop — along with a limited edition blooper clip where LeBron talks for five seconds before realizing he’s on mute, which is expected to fetch $2,000,000 by the end of the week.