Long term investor William Marchamp panicked this morning as the Dow dropped 0.2% within a terrifying 12 minute window.
“My entire life flashed before my eyes,” said Marchamp, who started boarding up his windows with plywood before retrieving his guns from the basement. “I figured this was the end, and I needed to prepare for the apocalypse.”
Marchamp, a 43-year old architect from Henderson, Nevada, is typically a long-term investor. He holds blue chip stocks like Microsoft, Home Depot, and Visa with good long-term growth potential but stable earnings and dividends.
“I rarely ever sell my positions. Usually I just add to my portfolio each month, but this morning I completely panicked and sold absolutely everything on that massive 0.2% drop.
A bunch of people on Twitter were saying that this was the start of a massive correction, so I decided to get out,” Marchamp said.
Marchamp has since missed a 4% bounce in stock prices after selling.
“Guess I’ll have to push retirement back six months or so, but better safe than sorry!”