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Loser: This Psychopath Became A Good Husband and Father Instead of Building His Brand On Clubhouse

Steven Rice is a psychopath. He has muted emotions and lower than average empathy. Despite this, Rice worked hard on himself to become a responsible husband and father – and fucked up his only chance to build a Clubhouse empire in the process. “I just want to support my beautiful wife and raise my handsome son,” says Rice, an alpha predator turned beta bitch who’s unaware that he could buy a better looking wife and son if he made that mad Clubhouse influencer money.

“I saw American Psycho – I understand that our business landscape rewards psychopathic behavior,” says Rice. “And I know that Clubhouse is full of desperate, wannabe influencers who are begging to be exploited by anyone remotely charismatic. But I don’t want to be that person. I want to work a normal job and be a family man,” says Rice, a moron who values work-life balance, but doesn’t need it because he’s a god-damned psychopath who doesn’t feel anxiety or sadness.

“I dislike how psychopaths are portrayed in the media,” says Rice. “They’re either serial killers, vile business owners, or amoral scammers that prey on weak minds that congregate on apps like Clubhouse. I’m a psychopath with a quiet life and a loving family and I’m proof that psychopaths can choose to be anything they want to be,” says Rice, a man who proves that psychopaths can choose to be pathetic losers.

“Also, I want to make it very clear that just because I’m a psychopath, doesn’t mean that I’m a racist. The slurs I’ve heard on Clubhouse disgust me and I will never use that horrible app again,” says Rice, likely a closeted racist who would be King of Clubhouse Racists if he would just harness the power of his terrible mind instead of living like a basic-bastard.