Saying it was “just for a few nights until I can get back on my feet,” billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott Bezos will be crashing on a friend’s futon for a few nights in the wake of Amazon’s sharp post-earnings decline, sources reported.
“I was watching CNBC when they ran something about Amazon’s disappointing quarterly earnings report, so I knew to expect the phone call,” said Scott’s sophomore roommate from Princeton, Amy Brown, who has a den with a futon that Scott is welcome to use for a bit. “Sure enough, she called that night.”
Scott also has been hitting up some old friends from high school to borrow a few bucks to get her 2006 Honda Accord running again. “Yeah, she said the clutch was completely gone, that she really needed a car to get to her new job and that just a few hundred would really help,” said high school classmate Wayne Beveridge. “I mean, I haven’t seen her too much since she became a billionaire or whatever, but I guess she must really need the money.”
Scott has also suspended $2.8 billion in charitable donations until her new Herbalife franchise gets off the ground, at which point she will reevaluate options. In the meantime, she is keeping a positive attitude. As she put it in her recent Instagram post: “This queen is ready to SLAY! YAAASSSS! $HLF!”