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Man Scrambling to Liquidate All in Position on Gamestop After Visiting One For First Time

“What the fuck is this?” says a bewildered Edmund Sales after the long time Gamestop trader and meme enthusiast stepped foot in one of their brick and mortar locations for the first time.

“The carpet looks like it needs to be replaced, it smells weird and as far as I can tell they just sell used games and toys? This is why they have an $11 billion valuation? No wonder all the hedge funds were short.”

Sales was then seen exiting the store in a panic as he was unable to get any reception inside and the complementary wifi wasn’t working. He proceeded to login into his Fidelity account and liquidate his entire holdings at a modest gain.

“I can’t believe I bought into that whole diamond hand/paper hand meme nonsense. Here’s some due diligence ideas for everyone on Reddit. Just walk into one of these places!”

Sales is unsure what he will buy with the proceeds but he’s so on edge he’s thinking about just putting it in an index fund and staying away from the dark arts forever.