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New ETF That Inverses Your Portfolio Expected to Become Biggest IPO of All Time You Fucking Idiot

Exciting news out of the ETF world as Vanguard announced today they will be coming out with a new ETF that does the exact opposite of whatever you do, you complete fucking idiot.

The new ticker is WNR and its goal is to regularly track your moves and do the opposite. Current year to date gains would have already been 77% based on all the idiotic shit you’ve done so far.

We reached out to the manager of the fund, Moira Chang to get some more information. “Basically we use proprietary algorithm to decode exactly what certain traders are doing and then fade the worst ones.”

And out of all their data the worst trader they could find is you, you fucking idiot. And the only thing you can do about it is close every single one of your positions and then buy the ETF causing some kind of financial black hole where the entire system collapses in on itself.

But you won’t do that because you just love the thrill of trading and also you read the prospectus and the management fees are a bit high for your taste.