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Next Bond Villain Set To Be 007’s Annoying Nephew Who Bought Bitcoin in 2010

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Last Tuesday, Universal Pictures announced the cast for the upcoming James Bond franchise blockbuster, “Bitcoins are Forever.”

007 is played by Jason Sudeikis, and the antagonist is played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse. The film is co-produced by Seth Rogan and James Franco.

The trailer, also released on Tuesday, was received poorly by unanimous consent on both Twitter and Youtube, many criticizing the lack of guns, plot, and women.

Twitter User, MoeFoeBerner writes, “wtf did I just watch?”

In the trailer, Sudeikis (Bond) is an unemployed 45-year-old shut in living in his Aunt’s London basement. Mintz-Plasse plays Bond’s 24-year-old Bitcoin-rich nephew who arrives home for Christmas and makes it his main priority to torment his Uncle for being poor.

In the three official trailers released to the public, the words “Cuck” and “Soy-Boy” were used more than 29 times cumulatively. The movie seems to break entirely from the plot templates of the previous 57 years of James Bond movies.

On top of the lack of guns, action, and any women in the cast other than Bond’s Aunt played by Betty White, the trailers neglected to make any indication that this was in fact a Spy movie.

On a personal note I will be seeing this money as I am a bitcoin investor, but I will be rooting for the villain who is also a Bitcoin investor. Also Bitcoin will reach $50,000 by February so invest now or you’ll miss out.