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Peter Schiff Slams Desk, Demands Intern Find Asset Gold Outperformed Over Last 10 Years

Well-known gold investor Peter Schiff reportedly screamed at an intern in a fit of frustration this morning. According to sources, Schiff slammed his fists on his desk and desperately pleaded for his intern to find just one asset that gold outperformed over the last ten years.

Schiff was reportedly in a poor mood after being dunked on by Mark Cuban, Tyler Winklevoss, and Mia Khalifa on Twitter, all within an hour.

“We just need one goddamn asset that underperformed gold,” Schiff cried, holding back tears. “Anything at all! Even if the category is vaporware firms or complete frauds where the CEO went to jail. Please, just find me something!”

Interns and analysts at Euro Pacific Capital, the broker-dealer Schiff runs, frantically pulled up different filters trying to find an asset class that did virtually nothing over the last ten years.

“Look, let’s just pull up a list of companies that went to zero over the last ten years, and make up an index fund they were all part of,” one intern finally suggested.