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Public Fear of Nuclear Power Traced to Homer Simpson

A 2016 Gallup poll showed that 54% of Americans oppose nuclear power. How does the first nation to master the atom become a nation opposed to atomic energy, even in the face of a looming climate catastrophe? The Hard Money Investigation Desk looked for answers.

The prime suspects were all quickly ruled out. Nuclear power opposing Americans hardly if ever cited such grim disasters as Chernobyl, Three-Mile Island, and Fukushima. In fact, only one theme was common among the nuclear skeptics – Homer J. Simpson.

Simpson, a Safety Inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, has become the de facto face of atomic energy in the United States. Edging out such contemporaries as Einstein and Oppenheimer; Simpson’s influence on the perception of Nuclear is all but absolute. His workplace record, highly publicized on FOX over the last 3 decades, has brought a stark visibility to nuclear energy’s greatest vulnerability – the notoriously unreliable asset located between the computer interface and the chair.

Americans are uncomfortable with the fact that any nuclear power planned must include fellow Americans in its operation. Even the most patriotic are uneasy with the prospect. This point is well illustrated by an excerpt from our interview with Matt Johns, the president of “Red, White, Me and You”, a think-tank that promotes American Exceptionalism as fact.

HM: So, Mr. Johns, regarding the energy sector, what nations do you see as currently excelling?

Johns: Well, I’d have to give this one to the US. Nobody mines and burns coal better than Americans, nobody fracks better, and nobody has better petroleum refinement methods. Hell, even ‘fruity power’ like wind or solar is at its best when Americans are in charge.

HM: I see, what about nuclear?

Johns: [laughing] Ha! Buddy you must be kidding me. Russians couldn’t do that one right, so what chance in hell do we have?

It seems American insecurity is unanimous in the Nuclear Sector. Economic-Ecological analysis reports estimate that Homer J. Simpson’s impact on public opinion toward nuclear power is responsible for 15-25% of current carbon emissions. This sizable chunk of pollution would not exist had nuclear power been pursued with full enthusiasm since the 1980’s. For better or worse, our future belongs to Homer.