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Robinhood Trader Up $1,000 Today Excited About New Annual Income Of $365,000

Young Robinhood trader Jack Tomlinson always knew he would be a success. But there was no way of knowing that at the tender age of 19, he would be making more money than his father.

After entering into a reckless option trade yesterday with nearly all of his liquidity, Tomlinson woke up this morning to find himself over $1,000 richer. His $900 portfolio had more than doubled while he slept.

“I guess option trading just comes naturally to some people,” Tomlinson said as he scrolled through $7,000 a month penthouses on Zillow.

In another tab, Tomlinson was tabulating his new annual income in a Google Sheet. The only filled cell had the formula “=1,000*365.”

“My dad never made more than $150,000 in a year, but it’s not surprising that I was able to surpass him so quickly because of my knowledge of the markets and stuff,” Tomlinson explained. “I just like, looked at Uber’s chart and it seemed to be going up, so I bought a bunch of call options that were above the stock price.”

As he explained his strategy, Jack filled out forms on various mortgage websites, looking for pre-approval on a loan. He put his projected down payment as $500 and annual income as $365,000, with an expected home purchase price of $750,000. He also filled out a form to formally withdraw from his university courses.

The college sophomore explained that he isn’t just an exuberant rookie getting lucky in a bull market. “I am definitely ready to short the whole thing, like the guy did in The Big Short. I can totally make a fortune timing it just right like he did.”

We can be sure about one thing: We haven’t heard the last from Tomlinson, who has huge plans for the future. He projects that if he can keep his 100%+ daily returns consistent, he should be up there with the biggest names in the hedge fund industry within a few months.