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S&P 500 Constant Reminder How Bad Man Has Fucked Up This Year

The S&P 500’s 15% year-to-date return is a constant reminder to Nolan Engles, 41, of how bad he’s fucked up.

The IT consultant works from home and has reportedly spent more time researching stock picks than doing his actual job. Now, both his portfolio and career are in jeopardy.

“I spent hours and hours doing the due diligence of reading through everything on Reddit, only to buy just hours before Rocket tanked 50%,” said Engles.

While he simply could have performed his job correctly and let the SPY ETF carry his portfolio to a 15% gain, instead he completely bungled both.

Now his boss is livid, according to sources, and his portfolio is down 32% in 2021.

“I researched every single stock that looked hot, expect for SPY,” Engles said as he packed his belongings in preparation for moving into his parent’s basement.