Press "Enter" to skip to content

S&P 500 Hits 4,000 Despite Jealous Unemployed People Trying to Drag it Down

The S&P 500 thankfully hit the long-awaited 4,000 level over the last week despite the efforts of jealous, unemployed haters trying to drag down the stock market. 

I hope that successful bulls (wealthy) take a moment this week to celebrate the big win with some expensive bourbon while chuckling at the petty unemployed people who insist on releasing bad news each week in their futile attempts to tank the market. 

I’ll savor this moment while enjoying the fact that I am at least 20 times smarter than the average unemployed bear who refuses to take a job just so their SPY puts might print.

When I lost my job as CEO of AOL back in 2001, I didn’t root for a market collapse. I clawed my way back into the working world and took a humble job as Chairman of the Board at a small tech company called Yahoo! I believe many of these jealous unemployed people can take a lesson from this. Instead of rooting for Tesla to fall, just use your family connections to land a VP-level job at the company.