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SpaceX Reality Check: People Will Still Think You’re a Douche on Mars

Excited about SpaceX’s recent successful test launches?

Well, a recent study by a non-profit studying the possibility of humans living on other planets may put a damper on that excitement.

“While it is very possible for humans to live on Mars, the other inhabitants will still definitely think you’re a raging douchebag,” said Dr. Roger Graves, PhD in astrophysics and President of the Life in Space organization.

“Nothing magically changes when you leave Earth and arrive on a new planet; other humans find you repulsive here on Earth, and they’ll feel the same way on Mars.”

Graves added that you may actually be perceived as a bigger douche on Mars since the first generations of Mars inhabitants will be constrained to small spaces with other people for long periods of time.

“Our intensive study has definitively concluded that you’re better off focusing on getting drunk at Buffalo Wild Wings and passing out in your Uber, because this Mars thing definitely won’t work out for you,” Dr. Graves said.