Markets soared today as stimulus talks picked back up after President Donald Trump invited Speaker Nancy Pelosi to what he believed was the season finale of a government-theme season of The Apprentice.
In the oval boardroom, flanked by his children, Trump welcomed a nervous Pelosi to sit in front of a miniature 3d model of a new stimulus bill.
“Welcome to Trump Washington,” the president said, according to sources close to the talks. “Before you you’ll see a stimulus bill, a beautiful state of the art bill with the finest furnishings and marble imported from around the world. The Trump Organization intends to build this bill. Tell me why you are the right person to win this competition and receive a $100,000 a year job as the vice president in charge of stimulus at the Trump organization.”
The talks buoyed investors hopes that there would be more financial stimulus with tensions running high and an election coming up soon. Trump was also excited about the future, saying that another season was almost guaranteed if this latest drama played out in an exciting way.
As of this writing it’s unclear if this behavior has anything to do with the slew of drugs the president took to battle Covid.